Fall in Georgia is one of the most beautiful times of the year. Especially with the horses, they are a little frisky and love to play. The wind blows and they want to run and kick up their hoofs!! Although this fall and past summer have brought me sorrow in letting go of two precious companions.
When letting go of pets whether through death or economic situations it is horribly painful. It can resinate in you for months. My experience from last summer losing my English Labrador Sunny of 13 years and this fall having to sell my precious 9 year old Belgian Mare Pearlie Mae, I have had my share.
These days I find myself driving or just sitting quietly, and a big wind of grief and sorrow comes across my heart, I can hardly breath thinking about either of them. Thinking what I could have done different to save them or the situation. As God teaches us that we do not have control over these situations and everything that happens is a part of his plan. It is just sometimes so hard to swallow or believe.
I have been digging deep to process why these animals become such huge part of us. Maybe it is because they were always there for us, maybe it is because there was an unspoken bond between us. Or maybe it's just LOVE?? I think it is a combination of everything.
Sunny I raised from a pup he was with us at bad times, happy times, holidays and family trips. We watched him grow up as he watched us and my children. I wished I had more time with Sunny and was there for him more. We do this to ourselves, when in reality he lived an awesome life and will be with me always in my heart till I get up to heaven and see him again.
Pearlie Mae on the other hand is still alive and with a different owner. I think she could be very happy with her, but I feel deep inside she is not. Although I cannot afford to get her back and she will have to stay with her. I feel, I let Pearlie Mae down. When she came to me she was just a pasture horse and I became her friend and mamma. Bad economic times and not being able to sell our house brought me to the point of selling her. I think about her everyday and wish I had a farm with a big pasture for her to run in. I am trying to process the fact that maybe she is happy and maybe it is just me that is sad.
These are thoughts can sink us, if we could just be happy for them and stop being sad for ourselves. Owning and raising animals of any kind is an emotional bond that some people can never understand. while others like myself never underestimate the power of that love. For those of you out there that have experienced the love and lost you can relate. knowing that we all go through the same feelings of grief is humbling, but comforting to know we are not alone.
With everyday that goes by we are shown by our God that there is a new path that opens, a path
he has made for us. The past events are just stepping stones for us to learn for the new path.
My new path ended me up with a beautiful new mare, she was free rescue that came to me through a friend. Her name is Kenya and she is a 6 year old Arabian/Draft mare. So my future begins again with her.
My new canine path has ended me up with a new puppy his name is Gunner and he is almost 5 months old. So you see, with loss there is birth and how we learn from these situations will help us to teach others, that life does not stop. It continues whether here on earth or up in heaven. We will always all be together in the end.
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